Been a while...

I really need to be better at updating this stuff.

Things I'm obsessed with at the moment:
* Watch the Throne
* Pinterest
* Cooking new and fabulous things
* Anecdotes
* Salvaging what's left of my old friendships
* Attempting and then re-attempting to start saving for a car
* Reflecting
* Taking care of myself
* Learning that it's okay to be me

God damn, I'm longing for summer in Chicago..

Got a little wine...

It's been a minute, hasn't it?  I think in my last entry, I was complaining about looking for a jobby job.  Well, I found one and I don't have to deal with that anymore.  At least for now...

What a truly humbling experience this whole thing has been.  I now have a new respect for people who dedicate their lives to retail, bartending, and 2nd and 3rd shifts. It's hard work dealing with the public day in and day out.  After a while, I know I became increasingly bitter towards humanity... still am kinda.  I'm sorry, am I not ringing you up fast enough??  Did I not put enough booze in your drink?  What do you mean I only get a 20 minute break during an 8 hour shift?  That's illiegal isn't it?

Bad transition...

Going to Metro tonight for the first time since the Jesus Lizard NYE 2010.  To be honest, I'm that big into going to shows anymore.  There was a time when I'd see between 4 and 6 a week.  These days, I'm over it... too many people, too many singers being Divas and hitting the stage whenever the hell they want.  Tonight is different though...

I love anything Greg Dulli does and will continue to support all of his endeavors.  Except another cover of a Fleetwood Mac song.  Sorry dude... I've got to cross the line somewhere.

Looking for a new job...

is grueling, not fun, and even worse than moving, in my opinion.

I think I know what's been getting me down lately, and for once and it's not the constant pressure (self-inflicted) of wanting a boyfriend.  That'll happen when it's supposed to.

A friend told me yesterday that I'm in control of my life.  I knew this all along, but sometimes it's nice to hear it.  Being 33 and working retail at a store with no upward mobility, shitty hours, and no benefits has been killing my spirit.  I was fine for a little while when I was offered a small raise to come back after that whole JP Morgan debacle, but now it's a chore... a chore to drive there, a chore to be "on" at all times.

Stability is eluding me and I've made it a point these past couple of days to do something about it.  Fuck a boyfriend... I need to better myself career wise and actually do something about it instead of losing sleep over it.

I believe once I find a new job, I'll be 100%.  Which means more money, and the ability to move out of my brother's house.

By request...

So I seemed to have gotten a little lazy lately and haven't kept with my promise to update and write everyday.

I watched 'Frida' yesterday, with Salma Hayek and it was boring as hell.  The only redeeming parts of this movie were the lesbian scenes and multiple shots of her titties.  I'm a pervert who has lesbian tendencies and I'm proud of it.  Suck it, Trebek.

I still haven't done any of my Christmas shopping, therefore, I'm not feeling all that festive at the moment.  I don't get paid until midnight on the 22nd, so yeah... needless to say, I'm feeling a little jealous of all the Holiday shoppers at Macy's carrying around mulitple bags and spending loads of money.  At least I have a list that keeps growing of what I need to get...

My boyfriend gets here in 5 days.  And thank God, 'cause mama needs a non-self-inflicted orgasm in a big way.

Which brings me onto my final point of the day... it's a proven fact that women who don't masturbate everyday, live shorter, less fulfilling lives.  Just sayin'...

Love,
C

I've got growing pains...

I thought you stop growing in 8th grade?

A modern Man...

I'm a modern man,
A man for the millennium,
Digital and smoke free.
A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
I've been uplinked and downloaded.
I've been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing.
I know the downside of upgrading.
I'm a high tech lowlife.
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker,
And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
I'm new wave but I'm old school,
And my inner child is outward bound.
I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer,
Voice activated and biodegradable.
I interface from a database,
And my database is in cyberspace,
So I'm interactive, 
I'm hyperactive,
And from time-to-time, 
I'm radioactive.
Behind the eight ball,
Ahead of the curve,
Riding the wave,
Dodging a bullet,
Pushing the envelope.
I'm on point, 
On task, 
On message, 
And off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed,
I got no urge to binge and purge.
I'm in the moment,
On the edge,
Over the top,
But under the radar.
A high concept, 
Low profile, 
Medium range ballistic missionary.
A street-wise smart bomb.
A top gun bottom feeder.
I wear power ties,
I tell power lies,
I take power naps,
I run victory laps.
I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
A raging workaholic.
A working ragaholic.
Out of rehab,
And in denial.
I got a personal trainer,
A personal shopper,
A personal assistant,
And a personal agenda.
You can't shut me up,
You can't dumb me down.
'Cause I'm tireless,
And I'm wireless.
I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.
I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever.
Laid back but fashion forward.
Up front, 
Down home, 
Low rent, 
High maintenance.
Super size,
Long lasting,
High definition,
Fast acting,
Oven ready,
And built to last.
I'm a hands on, 
Foot loose, 
Knee jerk, 
Head case.
Prematurely post traumatic,
And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.
But I'm feeling,
I'm caring,
I'm healing,
I'm sharing.
A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.
My output is down,
But my income is up.
I take a short position on the long bond,
And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.
I read junk mail,
I eat junk food,
I buy junk bonds,
I watch trash sports.
I'm gender specific,
Capital intensive,
User friendly,
And lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex.
I like rough sex.
I like tough love.
I use the f word in my email,
And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini mall.
I bought a mini van in a mega store.
I eat fast food in the slow lane.
I'm toll free,
Bite sized,
Ready to wear,
And I come in all sizes.
A fully equipped,
Factory authorized,
Hospital tested,
Clinically proven,
Scientifically formulated medical miracle.
I've been pre-washed,
Pre-cooked,
Pre-heated,
Pre-screened,
Pre-approved,
Pre-packaged,
Post-dated,
Freeze-dried,
Double-wrapped,
Vacuum-packed,
And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I'm a rude dude,
But I'm the real deal.
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked and ready to rock.
Rough tough and hard to bluff.
I take it slow.
I go with the flow.
I ride with the tide.
I got glide in my stride.
Drivin' and movin',
Sailin' and spinnin',
Jivin' and groovin',
Wailin' and winnin'.
I don't snooze,
So I don't lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal,
And the rubber on the road.
I party hearty,
And lunch time is crunch time.
I'm hanging in,
There ain't no doubt.
And I'm hanging tough,
Over and out.


Rest in peace, Georgie...

I feel...

sexy and confident today.  It's been months and months since I've truly believed this about myself.

I'm running with it and wearing a mini skirt to work today to flaunt it.